I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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