Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
