i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
