can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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