I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
