i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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