apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
