does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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