I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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