She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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