I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize