And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize