dude i'm inner monologue high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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