Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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