You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
