So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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