their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize