i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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