I have demons in me.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
