very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
