For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
