just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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