i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
