haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize