I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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