I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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