Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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