I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
