If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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