Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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