She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
