Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
operation have a gay friend backfired
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
