his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
