so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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