i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
