i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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