hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
