it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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