i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
