That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
