if you like me you must not know who I am
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
