just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
