Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
