Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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