i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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