living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
