We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
