chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
