I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
