I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
