good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
