He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
