I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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