so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
