we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
