oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I could make wine with my vomit
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
