the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
