If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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