i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
