even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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