Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize