Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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