I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
