I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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