I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize