Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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