Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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