I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
