What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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