Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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