I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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