i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize