I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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