you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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