where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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