ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
