my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
