How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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