i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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